Modest Mango

Fellow mangoers I warn you in advance…I’ve got my angry political hat on.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful island chain called the Chagos Archipelago. It was populated by 2000 indigenous people who had lived there for many years. Then in the 1960s, the USA decided to invade a small country called Vietnam. They did this because the big nasty communists intended to return some form of economic power to the people of that country. And the Americans didnt like that. So they decided to destroy everything in Vietnam. But to do this they needed military bases nearby. The US military asked the British if they had any land spare. So the British decided to give the US the main island in the Chagos Archipelago. This island is called Diego Garcia. The indigenous people, all British citizens, were told they had to leave. When some refused, the dogs on the island were rounded up and gassed. Though this didnt work very effectively so they were burned alive to finish the job. The people soon decided they didnt fancy going the way of their pets. So they were shipped off to Mauritius where they live destitute, broken, and ignored by their own government, the British government. The tropical paradise has now been replaced by an American base, with 4000 military personnel on the ground. The islanders have been allowed to return once. For 12 days. They tended graves while American soldiers played golf nearby.

The whole damn thing stinks and makes me ashamed to hold a British passport. The British government have committed a form of ethnic cleansing. And then lied through their teeth about it ever since. It was once said that evil prospers when good people do nothing. I believe we mangoers should spread the word about the plight of these people. We have blood on our hands whether we like it or not.

For more info visit http://www.antiwar.com/orig/pilger.php?articleid=3702

p.s. as the UK becomes an increasingly totalitarian state, breeding and feeding fear, I would not be surprised if my mentioning of this island’s murky history draws some form of censure. Time will only tell…

Week three – known by the French as semaine trois, the Spanish as semana tres, to the English as the third week, but known simply to Burr as hammertime. He was one angry baby after Week 2 and there would certainly be no love lost between him and the Chan as they did battle on Lincoln Financial Field.

However, that wasn’t the only huge game this Sunday. The appalling Packers defeated one of the favourites for the Superbowl, the NFC Champions had a no show at home against Dallas, and the Giants, down in the last quarter against the Redskins turned it round with two touchdowns in Washington. Well done Porter, it must feel good not to lose.

Detroit Lions 21
Philadelphia 56

San Diego 24
Green Bay 31

Dallas Cowboys 34
Chicago Bears 10

NY Giants 24
Redskins 17

Minnesota Vikings 10
Kansas City Chiefs 13

So they may not be at the top of the table yet, but with Donovan McNabb throwing touchdowns like last night, with Brian Westbrook scoring touchdowns like last night and with CD Burrows supporting touchdowns like last night, everyone’s got one thing on their mind – FLY EAGLES FLY!

PS Check out Thomas – losing to the Chiefs?! I guess the saying does go “unlucky at hair, unlucky at football.”

I got an Xbox 360 yesterday. As I opened the console packaging, little was I to know that there was quite a remarkable object inside. I’m not talking about the Xbox 360 itself, but the remarkably huge power brick that was about to spring out and slap me across the face. It became clear to me that Microsoft have taken the ‘brick’ part far too literally and has produced an object that is comparable in mass and volume to an actual brick you would build a house with. When I say that it’s huge, I’m talking Chris Porter huge. This thing could literally crush a small child.

Here are some photos of the brick beside various household objects.

A Diabolo

A Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine

A 175g Discraft Ultra-Star

A Keitt Mango

An Xbox 360

My gamertag is chanstheorem. Add me!

It may come as a shock to you (as much as it came as a shock to me) that there is a strong possibility that three members of modestmango.com have not ever eaten a mango before. This is, quite frankly, sad and pathetic, and it has led me to believe that this is a trend common amongst the British public. There’s your revelation.

And here’s the question. When’s the last time you had a mango?

My simple aim today is to convince you to eat a mango, and to congratulate those who regularly eat and enjoy the fruit (although the enjoyment is congratulations in itself). Let’s start with a couple of photos.

Let’s forget about taste for a second. If I could somehow convey to you the smell of a mango that has been sliced in to, I guarantee you that that would be enough to convince you to try it. The taste of course is amazing, unique and amazing. I also need to tell you that they are not expensive. You can go to a Tesco right now and buy one for 74p, your choice of Tommy Atkins or Keitt.

Lastly, Burr wanted to know what ‘hedgehogging a mango’ meant. He also wanted a video demonstration, and anything Burrows wants he gets. Warning, this will be nowhere near as good as Ainsley’s mango hedgehogs; he is the mango master after all.

View – Hedgehogging a mango

Just in case you couldn’t follow the incredibly complicated process, here’s a recipe from everyone’s favourite bearded prick, AWT. Be careful with step 4, very tricky indeed.

Okay guys, the scores are in for Week 2. Man, look at those Lions go! Rohrr!

Kansas City 10
Chicago 20

Minnesota 17
Detroit 20

Cowboys 37
Miami Dolphins 20

Green Bay 35
NY Giants 13

Washington 20
Philadelphia 12

N.B. In the head-to-head encounters Porter is on fire…..at losing! First Nik, now James. Who knows maybe Tommy will beat him next, even with his throws!