Category: Politics

Mancunian Fever #11: Sex

Posted by Michael on April 11th, 2010 — 10:50pm

Let’s talk about the Doctor’s assistant. ‘Johnny Baillie got an assistant?!’ I hear you say? No no no. The Doctor! What to say… Where to start…

Smut alert.

I live in Manchester. It’s a world away from anywhere else, mostly because the people sound, and are, so fucking stupid. (Or as the Noel Gallagher might say, ‘Half the world away’. Yeah?) So, sex. What about it? Salford’s smartest expat, Karl Pilkington said it was ‘just something to do.’ But if in Salford sex is just something to engage in after a few bottles of White Lightning, it is a whole other concept elsewhere. Sex sells.

Take the third best show on TV at the moment – Single, Together, Whatever on BBC Switch. Hunter S Thompson described Bill Clinton as a ‘congenitally lewd man who is evil in a way that is charming’. Single, Together, Whatever is similarly immoral, but similarly charming, in concept.

I forget what lecherous assholes most teenage boys are and what fucking spiteful morons teenage girls are. Still I can’t get enough of it. The sex that is.

If you are one of our many international readers you might be wondering what Phil, Porter, Johnston et al are really like. The truth? We love anything remotely lascivious. And this isn’t a new thing. Back in the days of the 71 Malone or 70 Ladybrook I bet Phil was just dying to be lewd. Jesus, I mean, I wanted to have obscene salacious conversations about girls and stuff. Only for the fact I was more of a Charlie Kelly than a Dennis Reynolds I would have.

Porter, Thomas, JG… We all have a similar zeal for sordid topics. Back in school little did we know Thomas was experimenting with body chocolate. I mean, for some reason I wrote ‘I shot George Harrison’ on my schoolbag, but jesus… Body chocolate!

And don’t scoff, CD. This stuff is going to determine the fate of our country.

(Fuck. Mickelson just birdied again. I write this as he bounds towards another green jacket, a story that will offer some respite in the sordid saga that is Tiger Woods and his infidelity.)

All this brings us back to the second best show on TV at the moment and the newest Doctor. Great. So good. I’m still laughing at that line, ‘Yeah, it’s cool. Bowties are cool.’ But how did I hear that line? Why was I even watching Doctor Who? I have not watched Doctor Who in about two years – and the last Doctor was frickin’ great. But do you know what else is frickin’ great? Karen Gillan. A fact shown by a recent study:

Picture 1
So, I suppose that’s all the proof we need. The Doctor is back. And so are the features.

4 comments » | General, NFL, Politics, Sport, TV, Movies & Media

re: rejected ideas for that David Cameron poster #4

Posted by Thomas on January 26th, 2010 — 9:11pm

Some advisors took the ‘sunshine is the best disinfectant’ soundbite a tad too seriously…

Comment » | Politics

Readers from… The Houses of Parliament?

Posted by Philip on July 22nd, 2009 — 2:00am

After trawling through some stats for mm I came across this:


Could DC be googling Thomas before offering him a job? This is likely.

1 comment » | General, Internet, Politics

Prepare for the General Election

Posted by Thomas on June 4th, 2009 — 10:38pm

It has been announced that James Purnell, an important cabinet minister and a possible candidate for Labour Party leadership, has resigned and told Gordon Brown to resign.

The pressure on Brown is now too great – first Smith, then Blears, and now Purnell. With bad election results due over the next few days, the Prime Minister is going to have to call a snap election before the summer.

Exciting times…

9 comments » | Politics

The Expenses Saga

Posted by Thomas on May 29th, 2009 — 10:56pm

I am typing this to the sound of the old Irish folk song ‘Star of the County Down’, sung with relish by the Wolf Tones – a Republican band somehow seems appropriate in the current climate.

The expenses saga has engulfed politics like a hungry Jaws spying a rowing boat in the near-distance. Working in the House of Commons has been a horrible experience for the past three weeks. MPs are generally either resigned (or perhaps resigning) and defeatist, or full of nervous tension. The Telegraph and the rest of the media is attacking MPs regardless of their claims and are trying to tarnish all politicans with the same brush.

This is not a defence of MPs. I am delighted that MPs who abused the system are gone. Goodbye Mackay, Kirkbride, Moran, Steen, Hogg and Morley – your kind will not be missed. Too many others with grubby fingers are still in place – Blears, Hoon, and Darling, spring to mind. But nobody is talking about the innocent MPs (and there are some) like Frank Field or David Burrowes. It is quickly turning into a witch-hunt. And only the BNP, UKIP, and the fringe leftist parties will benefit.

Update: track’s changed to Rory Gallagher and Tattoo’d Lady – not sure about the symbolism but loving the solo at the end.

Macaulay once said that ‘We know no spectacle so ridiculous as the British public in one of its periodical fits of morality.’ How very true. I personally blame the modern media and its obsession with 24-hour new stories for making this an attack on the many for the sins of the few. Who cares about the news at 3am anyway? 

So my message to modest mango readers is: go out and vote for the mainstream parties on 4 June. Do not be put off by the mass hysteria against politicians. Vote for the party you believe offers solutions to all of the country’s problems, not just expenses.

Update: track has shifted to Worry Not by Liam O Maonlai. Life doesn’t get much better than this! 

1 comment » | Politics

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