The KitKat Chunky Peanut – A Second Bite

Posted by Michael on September 13th, 2007 — 8:31pm

Quite a few people have asked about the incident that initiated Burr’s boycott of the Clements’ chain of coffee houses. Well, as most people already know, it involved myself, P! and of course The Baby. Naturally Phil was not bothered by the incident, I tried to ignore the situation, but as we all know, CD don’t take no shit.

The “incident” involved the three of us, a KitKat Chunky Peanut, Clements and a very huffy waitress. How did we discover her huffiness? Well, when I refused to heed her warning that we could only eat Clements goods – instead continuing to unwrap and then eat my KitKat Chunky Peanut – she took what can only be described as a strop. She then proceeded to purposely make us wait an eternity for our order, with the occasional and brief, but very cold glance towards our table.


CD was determined to make a stand (literally!) and leave, Phil was merely bemused (suggesting that “that bitch take a break, lolz”) and me? Well I was simply enjoying the end of my KitKat Chunky Peanut. Of course the order finally arrived and we were greeted with a premature and as ingenuine as possible “you’re welcome”. And that’s how “Burr’s Two Fingers…” began.

So why “The Second Bite”? In the words of Sammy – “Sequel, bitch!” That’s right, my second return to Clements resulted in another meeting with that certain huffy waitress. How did I handle it? I would like to think with a quiet dignity and rugged handsomeness. How did she handle it? A cold glare, an offended expression and what I interpreted as a look of lust.

What can be learned from these encounters?

1. Michael Johnston, like Cosmo Kramer, also has the the kavorka or “the lure of the animal”.
2. KitKat Chunky Peanut is indeed a tasty chocolate snack.

Cheers Nestle. You guys are awesome.

Category: Burr Tour, Video Projects 5 comments »

5 Responses to “The KitKat Chunky Peanut – A Second Bite”

  1. Tom

    This may be breaking some sort of rule but I went to Clements last night. We too had to wait about half an hour for our order (no Kit Kat in sight). But when the order came, all was forgiven. Mint chocolate milk-shake may sound like the worst beverage since the cum-slurping scene in American Pie. But it was so much better. Less salty too…

  2. Philip

    Awesome? Do you know about the Nestle boycott? And about Nestle’s alleged unethical marketing of formula milk to developing countries? A lot of universities including Glasgow actively boycott Nestle products. I was wondering why I couldn’t find a delicious, milky, crunchy, satisfying Kit-Kat in the students’ union.

    Also, you can’t just make up an uncharacteristic quote and then pretend that I said it.

  3. Philip

    Trust Thomas to lower the tone of the conversation. Is this the standard of the humour in Oxford? And I thought you were all classy people.

  4. Tom

    Just to raise the tone (and cover myself against accusations of utilising low-brow, crass humour for my own ends), the student union boycott of Nestle products has proven to be about as useful as a chocolate fire-guard. Nestle had a policy of encouraging women in developing countries to buy their formula milk rather than provide their babies with good home-grown breast milk. This deprived the babies of vital protection against various illnesses, with immunity normally passed via breast milk during the first 6 months of feeding. So the student unions jumped on the bandwagon of denouncing Nestle and stopped serving Nestle products. Nestle eventually scaled down the practice but the reason for this was they didn’t want to harm their public image. Not due to the reduced sales of Nestle products in student union cafeterias.

    Oh and if anyone ever says to you that student unions can make a difference in the world and then give the example of apartheid in South Africa, make sure you tell them that the internal contradictions of the policy made it impossible to sustain in a majority black country, that the international community denounced South Africa, and that the last time I checked the UN Security Council tends to carry more weight than the Trotskyite-ramblings of a student union president of some god-forsaken third-tier university.

    Who ever said politics wasnt interesting?

  5. Philip

    You are now forgiven.

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