Minus5 Ice Lounge

Posted by Michael on April 28th, 2011 — 12:43am

Location: 131-147 Quay Street, Auckland

Auckland 27th April 2011

Peer pressure, it’s a horrible thing.

Craic: Apparently there’s an ‘ice bar’ in London too. I imagine every night there is also an asian family paying the barman to take photos of them do shots through a jeroboam shaped ice sculpture. In Auckland this ice phallus rests on the bar (did I mention it’s made of ice?) angled downwards with a liquor conduit right down the centre, much like a urethra. The barman then pours down a shot of Absolut vodka while the recipient waits, mouth open, at the meatus. A miserable member of staff gets to capture this moment on a cheap digital camera for each member of the family.

In Minus5 everything is made out of ice. Even the glasses were made out of ice, which was cool. Jesus… That wasn’t even supposed to be a pun. It reminds me though, all the drinks had ice-themed names. I sprung for a ‘Vanilla Ice’. They didn’t play the song. Right… I think I have exhausted that part of the evening. What else… Two other tourists came into the ice bar during our one hour arctic extravaganza. Two German girls. One moderately attractive. One not. They had their cocktail, played one game of ice air hockey then left. When our group decided it had thoroughly explored all corners of this 8m x 8m freezer compartment and left I found the hot German was sitting outside having a smoke. ‘Why the hell did I just pay for that. It was exactly what I expected and still I went in.’ That’s what she was thinking I bet. That’s probably what every westerner thinks when they come out of Minus5… I was broken out of my leering trance by the gaggle of asian Kiwi tourists exiting the ice bar. They loved it. They were already reminiscing.

I have a comparison for this experience. In Hong Kong I wanted a t-shirt with Asian writing/characters but all sloganed merchandise in HK instead has imprinted on it a poorly constructed sentence in English. (Presumably Asian characters on all those t-shirts in the UK with ‘Osaka 6’ have similarly poor grammar. Either that or they say ‘I’m a western knobhead’ – I hope it’s the latter.)  My point is Hong Kong was rubbish when it tried to be western. That’s why I shouldn’t have tried to do western things. ‘You feel me?’ Just like in Hong Kong, when Kiwis try to do western things they are also rubbish. So, I plan not to indulge in a single other European/North American vice while I’m here in NZ. I just regret it afterwards. Plus, there’s easily enough cool natural shit to keep me entertained instead. I’m in New Zealand after all. Kia ora!

Price: $30 NZ to get in, which includes your first cocktail; all subsequent drinks $12.

Website: http://www.minus5experience.com/

Burr: -5

∼MJ out.

Category: Travel 2 comments »

2 Responses to “Minus5 Ice Lounge”

  1. Philip

    New Zealand, and especially Auckland, is full of gimmicky things. The main one being the stupid tower that you can never get out of your line of sight.

  2. Anonymous

    There’s an ice bar in Melbourne too.

    Mon & Tues = student night ($20) BARGAIN

    The other stuff aint interesting.

    Nice sneaky pic. I can’t believe you spied a hot girl. Perv

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