Top tips for finals

Posted by Philip on February 13th, 2011 — 10:32pm

If he smokes, he’s got cancer.

If he came back from Spain, he’s got legionella.

If she’s old and combs her hair, she’s got temporal arteritis.

If he’s a student and has flatmates, he’s got meningitis.

If he came from Africa, he’s got AIDS.

If she’s in church, she’s had vasovagal syncope.

If he’s Chinese, he’s got nasopharyngeal cancer.

If she’s a teenage girl, she’s pregnant.

Category: Medicine 2 comments »

2 Responses to “Top tips for finals”

  1. Michael

    If he’s Asian he’s got TB.

    If he’s Afro-Caribbean it’s probably multiple myeloma or sickle-cell.

    If he’s Mediterranean it’s probably thalassaemia.

    If he’s from the west of Ireland it’s probably coeliac.

    If she’s a she, she’s not only pregnant, the pregnancy is probably ectopic.

    If he/she’s been having a good time, it’s probably an STI.

    If anything else, it’s probably syphilis or sarcoid.

  2. Anonymous

    It’s never Lupus.

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