If you just happened to be in the county of the red rose today, and you just happened to be listening to Lancashire FM radio Choice you would have gotten the opportunity to listen to various Lancos describe their other halves. Pretty mundane gash, all generic messages in text syntax, read out by some monotone Lanc accent, you know the format. Anyway, the mechanics / housewives / plumbers / working class echelons of east Lancashire society were mostly giving descriptions likening their ‘hubby’ or ‘bf’ to Chantelle, Sting, Hugh Jackman etc. I have seen people in Burnley. They do not look like Hugh Jackman. They look like baked potatoes wrapped in the skin off a rice puddin’… And some of them look a little like Sting if you squint really hard.
Anyway, it wasn’t frakking ‘Sting’ in Clitheroe that was getting the scoff response it was Michael FRAKKING Johnston sitting unawares in PBL, Royal Blackburn Hospital:
…and next we have a strange one in by text from Rebecca who says her boyfriend ‘looks like Spock except his hair is only a peninsula’. You’ve got a winner there Rebecca…