From modestmango.com, it’s This Glaswegian Life. I’m Philip Chan. Our story today, which is in four acts, has a theme and that theme is my 21st birthday.
Act 1: Of Barbecues and Manliness,
Act 2: The Presents,
Act 3: Waking Private Colin,
Act 4: The Greatest.
Act 1: Of Barbecues and Manliness
Who’d have thought that in a country with such ridiculously good weather all year round, there would actually be a time when disposable barbecues are out of season? It certainly was not welcome news to find out the day before the proposed birthday barbecue. But it wouldn’t matter, as Lieutenant Colin with his OTC training would build a barbecue with his manly bare hands. He worked out that essentially, all we needed was a big container, a grill, charcoal, firelighters, wood, and a whole load of mantosterone.
When Sunday came, it was apparent that since disposable barbecues were out of season, charcoal would be out of season too. 10kg of housecoal for £3.49 would just have to do. Commander Colin quickly fashioned a barbecue out of the raw materials; and after literally going into the woods to get firewood, managed to make a working barbecue.
Eventually the cavalry arrived with disposables that had been located in Woolworths, and the men chowed down on some meat. I should add that bar one, literally no girls turned up to the barbecue.
Oh yeah, and the police paid a visit too. But it was a complete non-event and not worth mentioning at all.
Act 2: The Presents
This is literally the most presents I have ever got for my birthday. Fact. I don’t normally get any at all. And so, in no particular order:
1. A green hoodie.
2. A pair of kilt socks.
3. Two aprons.
4. A bubble watch. (Literally, you blow bubbles with it.)
5. A Dali.
6. Star Wars Lego.
7. A packet of Haribo.
8. A tub of mini Oreos.
9. A 1.5m audio RCA (M) to RCA (F) cable.
10. A bottle of champagne.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Act 3: Waking Private Colin
Act 4: The Greatest
We were walking up Byres Road at 4am post-party when all of a sudden we found ourselves being followed by a red mini-van. We made the usual jokes about it being scary, etc, etc. Then the van drove on and everything was normal.
Two minutes later, the van was back. And not only was it back, it approached us from the same direction as it did before. Clearly it was following us, especially since it had now slowed down to walking speed right beside us. It was pretty damn scary.
What was going to happen?
The door slid open and the fifteen or so people inside started shouting at us…
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PHIL!!!”
The frisbee team had just returned from London and by pure coincidence had bumped into me at 4 in the morning, just in time to wish me a slightly belated happy birthday in the most glorious fashion possible.
That was probably the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and has more or less made my year.
Thanks for being a part of my twenty-one years thus far, everyone. It’s been a pleasure.