Act 1: Racism Awareness Day,
Act 2: Number 9,
Act 3: The Lime Game,
Act 4: Derelicte.
Act 1: Racism Awareness Day
TEAM ASIA ASSEMBLE!
On January 4th, 2008, four Asians attended the first lecture of their new term wearing yellow t-shirts and yellow hats. Heads turned, people smiled, and inevitable questions were asked, “What’s up with the yellow hats?”
[ Katechia, Bravo, Chan, and Jabbal.* ]
And depending on which one of the four Asians answered, it was either racism awareness day, anti-racism day, non-racism day, or simply racism day. Ironically, this appeared to turn them into hypocrites. They accused (white) people of being racists simply for not knowing. “We all look the same to you, don’t we?!” was used quite a few times.
Perhaps the zenith of the hypocrisy of racism awareness day came in the afternoon when one (white) person, referring to the yellow hats asked, “So who started all this?” To which one of the yellow hat wearing Asians replied, “You did, you white boy!”
The white folk were confused and seemed ashamed for not knowing. The Asian folk who weren’t in on it were just confused.
Racism awareness day was of course completely fictional. The reality was that we found some awesome yellow hats on sale for 50p each and decided that we would all wear them to the first lecture back in the Winter term. A Google search has since informed me that the real deal is on 21st March. I bet you didn’t know that, did you? You racist.
* Spot the Englishman, the Scotsman, and the Irishman.
Act 2: Number 9
Wearing this in your honour. Good luck with your travels. Don’t forget our bet. See you soon.
Act 3: The Lime Game
This is what you need to play the lime game:
2 or more players,
1 lime per player,
A flat party.
The aim of the game is to challenge each other to place a lime into increasingly difficult places. The first person to achieve the goal each round gets one point and the honour of setting the challenge for the next round.
You are not allowed to tell the target what is going on, or tell them to place the lime for you. However, if they do this without you asking then it is acceptable. This is known as the Chan Manoeuvre.
As an example, here’s what happened in the first ever play of the lime game:
Round 0. The front pocket of a shirt. (practice)
Round 1. The side pocket of a girl’s dress.
Round 2. A non-medic’s glass whilst still in their hand.
Round 3. The back pocket of a non-medic’s trousers.
Round 4. Girls: Down the front of a guy’s shirt. Guys: Down the front of a girl’s top.
Round 5. The hood of a stranger’s hoodie, without them noticing for at least 5 seconds.
Round 6. Somebody’s glass whilst still in their hand, from a distance.
At this point too many people got involved and the game had to stop. Have fun.
Act 4: Derelicte.